Divorce Warfare By Parker Edmiston
As a divorce lawyer, I have personally witnessed the emotional devastation that a divorce can have on a husband and wife. And, unfortunately, the emotional destruction doesn’t stop with the husband and wife. Instead, the damage spreads outwards to the entire extended families. Oftentimes, the people most hurt by a divorce are the innocent children of the divorcing parents.
As a divorce lawyer, I can tell you that many parents take their own emotional hurt feelings and lash out at the other parent in an attempt to strike vengeance and cause that parent the same emotional pain. All too often, the tool that is used by the parent is the children of the divorcing parents. These innocent victims of a broken marriage are victimized twice by the divorce. First, the children’s world has been torn apart when their family unit is destroyed. Second, they become victims when one parent or both parents begin a tug of war with the children as if the children are possessions rather than people.
Experts have used the term “parental alienation” to describe the actions of a parent who chooses to use their children as a tool against the other parent. This is done in a number of ways, such as “villianizing” the other parent to the children. Suddenly, the other parent is at fault for every wrong in the marriage and the children take center stage to all the nastiness of a broken heart. Rather than shielding the children, the alienating parent makes the children active participants in the destruction. Parents forget that these children are themselves devastated from the breakup of the family and are the least prepared to handle the consequences of divorce.
In a divorce, I have heard one parent say to another parent: “I will get the children to hate you”. Then watch in dismay as that parent repeatedly uses the children as active participants in the devastating drama of a broken marriage. While the emotional damage to children is obvious to outsiders, all too often the damage is ignored by the alienating parent.
You might believe the courts would be a resource to resolve this conflict between parents and bring peace to the children of a broken marriage. Unfortunately, the courts are overburdened with the number of domestic cases and oftentimes at a hearing only get a distorted snapshot of what is happening with the family. And, it can take years to get into court to have a domestic case trial in Alabama, causing sometimes minor problems to fester and become untreatable injuries to the family.
After years of seeing firsthand the unnecessary destruction, I decided to develop a program thatwill give divorcing parents an opportunity to do what is best for their children and extended families. That is, divorce without all the drama and emotional chaos that permeates too many divorces. Divorces are emotional. And, that emotional damage will affect the children of divorcing parents. However, there is a way to minimize the emotional damage to children and not make them an active part of the fallout from the divorce.
A Divorce Without Drama was designed to help parents take an active negotiated role in divorce. Once a husband and wife have decided that a divorce is inevitable, then the parties can sit down with my staff and work out the details of a divorce by themselves.
209 South Market Street, Suite 101
Scottsboro, Alabama 35768
(256) 259-0834 Telephone
(256) 259-0845 Facsimile
7027 Old Madison Pike, Suite 108
Huntsville, Alabama 35806
(256) 519-5900 Telephone